"The Rose In Waiting", Thank you for your comments.?

Quiet moonlight stripping color from the night,

Blood red petals, faded feathers in its light;

The hunger of the soul knows no wrong,

And knows no right.



Time slips away as the heartbeat slows,

The pulse becomes heavy as the longing grows,

The empty garden waits for her to show;

Waits for her to know.



Like lost dreams of children playing.

The memory of the thorn continues praying,

Holding onto the heart of the rose,

As the heart lay dying.



Thirsting for the rain, hungering for the heart,

Crying for the shame, Tearing itself apart;

The beauty of the petals yet hang,

Tied to its art.



Faith lies in shadows and fantasy,

Never losing hope in realms of ecstasy,

For the return of wondrous love,

And Summer Everlasting.

"The Rose In Waiting", Thank you for your comments.?
(I love the internal rhyme scheme) Perhaps you might refer back to that moonlight motif you started at the beginning? I feel it's a shame when such potential only gets mentioned once in a poem of five stanzas. I demand poetic justice!



Aside from that, the concepts presented are skillfully dealt with. Another suggestion is to mention that roses pollenate -
Reply:beautiful
Reply:It's pretty good, but I sort of feel like there is more to it. It seems to end too soon! (I don't mean that it is poorly written, just that it is quite beautiful, and the ending seems a little abrupt)
Reply:are you a published writer? i like it.