♥ Can you write an AMUSING afternoon story using the following lines?

Ready? Pencils up!...... Go!





1. Mamma said there'd be days like this......


2. Oh my, how tricky! But not more clever then me!


3. A Rose Garden. It all started in a Rose Garden.


4. He/she tends to be a little paranoid at times.... you have to overlook it.


5. Fig Neutons. Raspberry Fig Neutons...


6. This isn't a court of law, please don't try and spin things like a prosecutor.... you will NOT win!


7. I need a Martini. Belvedre... up, twist. Ice on the side. Leave the jar of olives!





♥♥ Obnoxious phrases stretch creativity! Can you do it?♥♥


Also, this is not homework, I'm grown LOL... so please, no comments about homework! LOL





Party On friends........... put on the thinking caps and get your giggle on!♥

♥ Can you write an AMUSING afternoon story using the following lines?
A rose garden. It all started in a rose garden. Cedric and I entered the lanai and took a seat at the wicker table. “I need a martini. Belvedre…up, twist. Ice on the side. Leave the jar of olives,” I requested. Cedric ordered the same. The waiter reappeared with our drinks and a tray of fig newtons. Raspberry fig newtons.





Cedric was concerned because the waiter took his time returning with our order, and because we heard a bit of commotion in the bar while we waited. “What is all the hubbub?” he demanded when the waiter reappeared.





“It seems, sir, that a celebrity tried to give a dog to someone. Then, the kennel from which she had adopted the dog repossessed it,” replied the waiter.





Cedric is an avid dog lover, and was quite distressed. He tends to be a bit paranoid at times…you have to overlook it. We took our drinks and fig newtons into the bar to watch the television. “How COULD this happen?” he cried. “How can they repossess a living being like that?” Cedric was clearly on the verge of a hysterical rant.





I tried to calm him. “It’s really quite elementary, Cedric,” I reassured him. "The kennel didn’t SELL the dog to the celebrity. They only LICENSED the dog to her. Sort of like software."





“This isn’t a court of law, please don’t try and spin things like a prosecutor….you will NOT win!” Cedric declared. He was clearly losing his grip on sanity and beginning to think of me as an adversary.





“No, no,” I countered, “Imagine that the dog came packaged in shrink wrap, with a warning on the side that provided that the bearer agrees to the terms of the license if he opens the shrink wrap. Then, the license provides that if the person tries to transfer possession of the dog without permission of the kennel, the licensor can recover the dog.”





“Oh my, how tricky! But not more clever than me!” yelled Cedric. He immediately stormed out, leaving a good three-quarters of his drink untouched. Mamma warned me there would be days like this… and that I should exercise the “waste not, want not” principle. I remained to finish my drink and his.





Later that week I learned that Cedric had set up an elaborate peer-to-peer network, in which dog lovers clandestinely exchanged ownership of shih tzu puppies and Pomeranians in violation of license agreements.
Reply:Thank you, ma'am. I enjoyed writing it. Report Abuse

Reply:I would gladly do it if it weren't your homework. Someone else posted the same thing...
Reply:Yes I can write an amusing story using those lines, but I was turned off by part of line six. It knocked the story telling wind right out of me. Specifically "...try and spin..." Isn't it supposed to be 'try to spin' rather than 'try and spin'?
Reply:Beans %26amp; Silva %26amp; Sunshine ♥%26amp;♥ Matt %26amp; Kitty %26amp; Sarge%26amp;Festus





"The Halloween Gig"


PART ONE





As the van rolled up to the Crowley Mansion, in East Sussex Omaha, the theatrical group from Dodge City peered out the windows. Silva ( the only one from Hoboken) exclaimed,"Oh, my!!! What a huge house." Kitty sneered...."Stop acting so provincial and grab that bag, would ya??....Yes. THAT one....


Gotta have my (5) Fig Newtons. Raspberry Fig Newtons."


" I'd lay off the sweets if I were you, Miss Kitty." said Beans, trying to suppress her laughter.


Kitty glared at her......" Ah, yes....the resident authority on caloric intake!!" She pinched a small roll of fat at Beans' midriff as she munched on her favorite cookie.


Sarge took out his trumpet and played the chorus to , "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" as Festus knocked on the front door. Sunshine jumped on Matt's back and was playing with the curls on his neck when the door creaked open.


Festus watched , mouth agape, as a very old butler stood in front of him. With his left eye covered by a patch and the other seemingly loose in it's socket, he was an unsettling sight.....


Festus: "Uhhhhh.....Sir....Uhhhhh.......This ain't no ghost house, is it?"


Kitty brushed him aside as she made her way to the door.....


"Please excuse my friend." she said as she elbowed Festus' left lung...."(4) He tends to be a little paranoid at times.... You have to overlook it." The butler's right eye moved counter clockwise as he tried to focus on Kitty.


The butler: "Doooooooo come in........Col. Mustard is waiting for you in the conservatory."


"What the HELL?" laughed Sunshine. "Next he'll tell us that Mrs. Peacock is in the library with Professor Plum..... and she's holding a wrench!!" She laughed so hard she spit her gum out, which unfortunately lodged in Beans' newly dyed bouffant.


"(1) Mamma said there'd be days like this," moaned Beans.


Kitty laughed...."Hahahha. It's usually ME that gets hit by her flying projectiles!" Not watching where she was walking, Kitty collided with a moosehead, hung low on the hallway wall!


Silva, who had taken a quick swig of her Merlot, laughed so hard , the wine trinkled out her nose!





Col. Mustard took one look at the motley group of friends and said, "(7) I need a Martini. Belvedre... up, twist. Ice on the side. Leave the jar of olives!" Belvedre nodded his head solemly and turned to leave.


"Hey, Belvedre.....How about an iced mug of beer," asked Matt. Soon everyone was barking out their order.


Festus:"I'll have what Matthew's having."


Beans:" Do you have anything that can get gum out of hair?!" She glared at Sunshine who blew her a kiss.


Silva:" I'll take a cup of Wheatgrass please.....It's time to detox again."


Sarge:"A glass of low-fat milk, if you please, sir."


Kitty mumbled her usual insult....."You are SUCH a choirboy."


Kitty:"Uhhhh....I'll have a glass of your best Rotgut....Leave the bottle. Hey!! Sunshine!! Can you disengage yourself long enough from Matt's neck to give the man your order?!"


Sunshine: " I'll have a Whiskey Sour, please." She winked at Matt and whispered something in his ear. Matt kissed her passionately as Col. Mustard looked on.





Feeling claustophobic and a bit nauseated by the group, Col. Mustard ushered them to the terrace.


"Ladies and gentlemen. I asked you all here to discuss the annual Halloween Show that I sponsor." He gazed fondly at the newly mulched lawn....."(3) A Rose Garden. It all started in a Rose Garden. These gatherings of mine used to take place over there....But through the years the guest list has grown and I decided that the great hall is the best place."


"(2) Oh my, how tricky! But not more clever then me!" said Belvedre, reappearing with a tray load of drinks....and one bottle of bubblegum remover.


"Yes, yes, Belvedre. Your idea of having the party in the basement is very creative. We tried it once....remember? That reminds me....We need to call Det. Mulroy and see if there are any new leads on the death of poor Widow Wilma....Tho I suspect it is a 'cold case' by now."


Belvedre glared at Col. Mustard with his one good, albeit, rotating eye......""Many in the village are convinced YOU are the murderer....MAAAAAAAster."


"(6) This isn't a court of law, please don't try and spin things like a prosecutor.... you will NOT win!" screeched Col. Mustard.





Beans %26amp; Silva %26amp; Sunshine ♥%26amp;♥ Matt %26amp; Kitty %26amp; Sarge%26amp;Festus


all gulped, collectively!! After listening to some of the details of the Halloween party, they quietly made their way up to the rooms that were provided for them.





Kitty shreiked as a lone bat flew down the hall and nibbled on her beauty mark.


Beans and Silva flipped a coin to see who would get dibs on the top bunk.


Festus went into his room and pushed a heavy chest of drawers against the door.


Sarge sat in the window seat of his large, Victorian room and played "Taps."


And Matt and Sunshine ? Well.....Long about 2 AM a very loud, baritone moan could be heard....Followed by a high pitched........"HEE HAW!!! "
Reply:Mamma said there'd be days like this. I remember all too well. A Rose Garden. It all started in a Rose Garden. The sun was high in the sky and all I could think about were Fig Newtons. Rasberry Fig Newtons. My mother tried to give them to me before she had a heart attack and then she... passed away. I still remember her favorite phrase, "I need a Martini. Belvedre... up, twist. Ice on the side. Leave the jar of olives!" I think it was the only thing she remembers from her Honeymoon. Oh, but I discourse.


My Uncle Steve, a lawyer, had come over for the day. He tends to be a little paranoid at times... you have to overlook it. We were walking, just twlking about life. For a moment, though, I thought I heard him intake a sharp breath. This had me worried but I dare not mention it for fear that he might overreact. So I casually slipped it in saying, "How's your health?"


He replied, "Oh, the usual, how about you?"


Oh my, how tricky! But not more clever than me. So I pressed on further, "So you haven't had any breathing problems?"


The outburst that followed was unexpected, "What!? This isn't a court of law, please don't try and spin things like a prosecutor.... you will NOT win! I have been trying to be PERFECT for-" he was cut short by a gasp for air.


"What's wrong? WHAT'S HAPPENING!?" I couldn't hold back my emotions. "No! I can't lose you after Mom. Not again..." I was sobbing at this point.


My neighbor saw what happened. She saw what happened and immediately called an ambulance.


My uncle never made it back alive.
Reply:Mama said there'd be days like this....thought Francine as she shifted the ice pack to the other side of her forehead. She lay limply on the chaise lounge by the veranda. Slowly, she rolled on her side and picked up the little silver bell on the end table. The high-pitched chime shot another bold of pain through her head. She groaned. Promptly, the door opened and the bulter appeared. "I need a martini, Belvedere...up, twist. Ice on the side. Leave the jar of olives!"





Yes, Mama had said a lot of sensible things in her day. That is, when she had had all of her marbles. Time seemed to go by so quickly. When Francine looked at herself in the mirror, the face looking back was all too familiar. "God," she sighed, "I'm turning into my mother!" The breeze on the veranda was heavenly. Francine closed her eyes and began to drift off, but her reverie was cut short with a bang from the opening door. Winston stood there, glaring. He was clenching and unclenching his fists.





"Francine, this has got to stop!" he said tightly. You can't just let Trixie roam wild. I found her down in the garden this morning. Her mouth was full of petals. She's been EATING THE FLOWERS, for God's sake!" Francine stared back at him blandly. "Oh? You say she was in the garden, then. Which garden?" "A rose garden. It all started in a rose garden. From there she went to the arbor and started in on the wisteria! We're paying good money to have the estate kept up and she's out there eating the scenery!"





"Oh, my, how tricky! You know she's only trying to entertain herself. She is clever...but not more clever than me!" said Francine. "I used her favorite treat to lure her into the guest room about an hour ago." "That monster," said Winston. "So what's her favorite treat, Milk Bones?" Francine sniffed disgustedly. "No need to be gauche, Winston. You know very well what she likes... fig newtons. Raspberry fig newtons..." She took a sip of the martini. "Anyway, Belvedere has taken her to day care, so you can relax. She won't be home until after dinner time."





Winston stood there, hands on his hips. "And then what? She's just like a wild animal, I tell you! Give me some convincing evidence that there will be a change in the forseeable future!" She raised an eyebrow. "This isn't a court of law, please don't try to spin things like a prosecutor...you will NOT win!" Winston tried a different tack. "But, Darling, she has to be controlled. You can see that, can't you? The other day, she dragged her blankets into the den and I found her crouched behind the sofa. She had exerted herself so much she was panting." "Winston, you know she tends to be a little paranoid at times...you have to overlook it."





Exasperated, Winston blurted out, "This can't go on, Francine! She's your mother, for God's sake! You've got to rein her in! Put a leash on the woman or something!"





Francine gave him a withering look. "Winston," she said coldly, "this conversation is OVER. If you want to keep your happy home, you'll shut up now. Remember who pays the bills around here. If it weren't for Mother, we'd be living in that little flat in Hoboken. Now, GET OUT!!" She picked up the little silver bell again and Belvedere appeared. "Madam?" he queried. "Bring me another ice pack and a martini," she said. "On second thought, make it a double....of each!"